Sometimes...when you are alone and talk to yourself..don't you think we all live the same life? I happened to chat with my friends at work and was amazed to see how similar things we all go through and deal with...but when something happens to you it does feel like "why me" right?
For sure by now I have realized no person is perfect..no relation is to be taken for granted..and there are very few times when things happen as you wish. However, recently what I have realized even more is when we push ourselves too much, expect a lot from others and find faults in every damn thing is when we start getting unhappy and stressed...
Though difficult at times...I want to get into a habbit where I can start reminding myself...
...to make peace with imperfection
...to let others have the glory at times
...to live in the present moment and not the past
...to repeat to myself that life isn't always an emergency
...to become a better listner
...to look for innocence around
...to choose to be kind over being right
...to spend a moment evryday thinking of someone to love and someone to thank
...to do one thing at a time
...to always trust your intuitive heart
...to get comfortable at times not knowing stuff
...to make some time free everyday just for yourself
...to often ask yourself "what's really important"
...and to be happy with where you are and what you are...
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Our Painting...
We started painting our picture a year and a half ago. Both excited, both eager, both willing to do anything to make it perfect. The smiles were fresh, the laughs were loud and all the thoughts and future of the painting was haze and a bit distant...
The size of the canvas was decided, the easel was laid and the borders were very precisely drawn...we spent a long time giving each other space to match the borders and trim them when each of us started to draw from our own end...erasers were used...whitener was used to hide a few scratches as they were negligible and were bound to come due to our anxiety and excitement. We both looked at each other and stopped for a while just holding our brushes and paints starring at the white canvas. May be each of us had a picture in mind...may be each of us had part of the picture in mind...or may be we were just lost looking at the emptiness...now what?
How do we do it? Would it turn out to be ugly or would it be beautiful? We realized that each of us would think differently at times, each of us would have different perspective and emotions at times...but we still started off painting the same picture...
The colors in each of our pallete look so beautiful...they are also our favorite ones...its a mix of all...dark ones, light ones, bright ones and some weird ones too...
During this thinking mode I started looking around...I sneaked in pictures some of my friends were painting...each one with their own versions...I remembered the ease with which my dad and mom move their brushes...and sprinkle their paints...but I also remembered the times when both of them struggle very hard to work on a particular part of the painting to make it right...to make it better and to make it merge in other colors...
As I kept wanderign through my thoughts...my feet suddenly stopped starring at something...I couldn't move from there...in a corner of an allay my grandfather was pointing at something and showing it to my grandmother...it was a painting again...a PAINTING full of vibrant colors, splashes, scars, immense details, smooth as well as erratic washes...but somehow it had a deep meaning to it...after looking at it for a while they both smiled at each other and said...that's our 64 year old masterpiece...that's our life...and cuddled together. I couldn't stop the trickles in my eye...it was the best feeling so far...
I went back to our painting...cleared my mind, dipped my brush and splashed color on the canvas. I know as the other person starts putting in colors the painting will take different turns every time...sometime by mistake we will push each other or take each others space as we would be so engrossed in the painting...sometime other people may stop by and take us away for a while and sometimes we will just get tired and bored to paint further, soemtimes without intention we will end up throwing unwanted hues and strokes...you never know a person's frame of mind...especially when he is painting...
...I paused and thought of all this...closed my eyes and realized...I really want to paint this painting...as inside I just know it will be beautiful...it will be beautiful...just because at the end it will be OURS!
I hope I get to complete this painting with my Better - Half...
Sajal
The size of the canvas was decided, the easel was laid and the borders were very precisely drawn...we spent a long time giving each other space to match the borders and trim them when each of us started to draw from our own end...erasers were used...whitener was used to hide a few scratches as they were negligible and were bound to come due to our anxiety and excitement. We both looked at each other and stopped for a while just holding our brushes and paints starring at the white canvas. May be each of us had a picture in mind...may be each of us had part of the picture in mind...or may be we were just lost looking at the emptiness...now what?
How do we do it? Would it turn out to be ugly or would it be beautiful? We realized that each of us would think differently at times, each of us would have different perspective and emotions at times...but we still started off painting the same picture...
The colors in each of our pallete look so beautiful...they are also our favorite ones...its a mix of all...dark ones, light ones, bright ones and some weird ones too...
During this thinking mode I started looking around...I sneaked in pictures some of my friends were painting...each one with their own versions...I remembered the ease with which my dad and mom move their brushes...and sprinkle their paints...but I also remembered the times when both of them struggle very hard to work on a particular part of the painting to make it right...to make it better and to make it merge in other colors...
As I kept wanderign through my thoughts...my feet suddenly stopped starring at something...I couldn't move from there...in a corner of an allay my grandfather was pointing at something and showing it to my grandmother...it was a painting again...a PAINTING full of vibrant colors, splashes, scars, immense details, smooth as well as erratic washes...but somehow it had a deep meaning to it...after looking at it for a while they both smiled at each other and said...that's our 64 year old masterpiece...that's our life...and cuddled together. I couldn't stop the trickles in my eye...it was the best feeling so far...
I went back to our painting...cleared my mind, dipped my brush and splashed color on the canvas. I know as the other person starts putting in colors the painting will take different turns every time...sometime by mistake we will push each other or take each others space as we would be so engrossed in the painting...sometime other people may stop by and take us away for a while and sometimes we will just get tired and bored to paint further, soemtimes without intention we will end up throwing unwanted hues and strokes...you never know a person's frame of mind...especially when he is painting...
...I paused and thought of all this...closed my eyes and realized...I really want to paint this painting...as inside I just know it will be beautiful...it will be beautiful...just because at the end it will be OURS!
I hope I get to complete this painting with my Better - Half...
Sajal
Monday, October 25, 2010
The Proposal
I have often wondered what exactly a PROPOSAL means? To a certain extent... I know its one of the ultimate courage that a boy shows as an exclamation followed by a full stop to a twisty, confused, hyper, elated, anxious, hazy...overwhelmed and sometimes extremely thoughtful and tiring race of his mind! God knows what all gallops, flashes and even clashes through his mind in those few crucial days just before proposing to a girl...whose mind I am sure he is capable of reading only a tiny bit till then...
The dreams of being a LION...The coolest dude and hunk his girl would be imagining of slowly becomes a difficult to achieve task as time comes. Instead of being hot, handsome and cool in his attitude and appearance...he actually turns to be a shy, concious, cute little boy like in his teenage years...somehow even the expressions on his face get real innocent and sweet from all aspects...it feels as if he is eagerly waiting for a cute little doll instead of a studed princess!
The point is really not how the proposal goes...or how exotically and innovatively its done...but whether it creates that magic for a few seconds which is good enough for the girl to get a feeling that all these years that she had been waiting for is for sure to come true...
I guess...the apprehension, the curiosity and the tenderness of those moments really work together to create that MAGIC to make every proposal a special one for the two...
For me...the moments have been captured with a clear lens of my eye, perfect frames have been clicked without missing any bit of it in quick succession and memories have been saved deep inside the heart for never to be erased...For sure this proposal has created a cute little scrapbook inside my mind where I can go back...turn pages...and get a million dollar smile on my face right away! Love You...
The dreams of being a LION...The coolest dude and hunk his girl would be imagining of slowly becomes a difficult to achieve task as time comes. Instead of being hot, handsome and cool in his attitude and appearance...he actually turns to be a shy, concious, cute little boy like in his teenage years...somehow even the expressions on his face get real innocent and sweet from all aspects...it feels as if he is eagerly waiting for a cute little doll instead of a studed princess!
The point is really not how the proposal goes...or how exotically and innovatively its done...but whether it creates that magic for a few seconds which is good enough for the girl to get a feeling that all these years that she had been waiting for is for sure to come true...
I guess...the apprehension, the curiosity and the tenderness of those moments really work together to create that MAGIC to make every proposal a special one for the two...
For me...the moments have been captured with a clear lens of my eye, perfect frames have been clicked without missing any bit of it in quick succession and memories have been saved deep inside the heart for never to be erased...For sure this proposal has created a cute little scrapbook inside my mind where I can go back...turn pages...and get a million dollar smile on my face right away! Love You...
Friday, March 7, 2008
DREAMS....
I love the word...DREAM. Probably just because of its non binding ability to the world we live in or so called Life we are destined to face every now and then. The word in itself kind of releives me from the day to day burdens, unexpected situations, long awating decisions or just hackneyed same old gloomy days! Yeah for sure i have learnt through years that dreams do not come true...some might come true ..rarely..but oh thats why may be they are called dreams after all compared to the harsh word REALITY!
I wonder why the dreamland is so beautiful??? Is it a place created for us to hide when we are too much worked up or tensed or irritated with life? or is it just our childhood that we have left behind? why does it somehow strengths our beliefs for a new hope..for a new page...for new enthusiasm..and for a new zest?
If its such a nice place and if they work so positively....why doesnt our dreams grow with us? or do they? or does the harsh world that we live in conquer it and somehow force us to narrow down our dreams too considering n number of situations we are bound to...questions we are answerable to...and things we are obliged to..dont know...seriously dont know!
well..may be right now, I am still enjoying the dreamland..and i guess i will continue doing so whether my questions are answered or not.
I wonder why the dreamland is so beautiful??? Is it a place created for us to hide when we are too much worked up or tensed or irritated with life? or is it just our childhood that we have left behind? why does it somehow strengths our beliefs for a new hope..for a new page...for new enthusiasm..and for a new zest?
If its such a nice place and if they work so positively....why doesnt our dreams grow with us? or do they? or does the harsh world that we live in conquer it and somehow force us to narrow down our dreams too considering n number of situations we are bound to...questions we are answerable to...and things we are obliged to..dont know...seriously dont know!
well..may be right now, I am still enjoying the dreamland..and i guess i will continue doing so whether my questions are answered or not.
A Blind Date
It was a gloomy saturday or sunday morning...probably one of those times we eagerly wait for after a hectic week's work!I was fast asleep even though my roomies were busy having girly gossips just beside me in our small, conjested room. Suddenly my fone rang below my pillow and i answered it reluctantly...sure with some gallis for the person on the line. I was more annoyed when it wasnt someone i knew and really wanted to slam the fone down for disturbing my weekend dreams! It took me some time to wake up and talk properly without blabbering in sleep...The so called unknown person on line..infact a stranger.. just spoke one sentence.."Hi, I am Here"..Here? So? I mean what?..Reply: "yeah I am here..can we meet?" " Oh okay...I recalled who the person was and how i knew him..oh he was the one i had spoken on fone once and once on chat..thats it! Unknowingly i said..okay..ummm lets meet in mall..umm yeah at about 11-11:30 looking in the watch and calcualting if i had enough time to make myself presentable..:)Got up, stretched myself,yawning...getting a naughty thought in mind of someone asking me out for a date..oh my! HURRAY! I rushed to the bathroom to get ready. My roomies showed a big question mark on their face and for sure called me crazy when i hurridly told about it. I dunno why, may be it was the first time...to meet an unknown boy so i started imaging big big things....well i was really excited for sure!In the whole excitement we both forgot to think how to recognize each other..so i called him to check how he looks like..and what he is wearing etc etc..I dont think the information shared helped much as i reached the mall and considerable time went on fone again giving each other directions...best part was when we approached each other with fones on ears and the only idiots in mall wandering here and there. Oh so finally face to face..."oh so u...are..Hi!".."yeah I..am..Umm HI! what next? the whole thing seemed to be so funny now that i really wanted to laugh aloud but just started walking aimlessly in the mall waiting for each other to say something...i thought he would he thought I would..but both were clueless and may be now feeling well.. why did we meet atall? For quite some time the conversation was ..." this is fabindia"..u need something? ..NO! oh okay...here u get real good boy stuff..wud u like to...NO! oh okay...here's another umm yeah good branded stuff...wud u...NO! oh! here's a Cookie shop! yum cookies..wud u? well forget I WANT SOME! he he...after like wandering for more than 20 mins i felt like i was a GUIDE touring him a MALL in a city like Bangalore! How romantic..:P.I dont remember having any mooshy gooshy talks or glimpses between us but i do remember laughing like crazy all the time...He was a real funny guy and i did have a great time with him...surely not like on a DATE though....:Pwell...after an hour or so we just sat outside in one corner of a cafe "which was actually closed" and spoke about numerous things ..as if old friends sharing laughs and similar experiences! I even kept my friends who had escorted me to the mall waiting for a long long time..JUST FOR THIS STRANGER!While saying goodbye...i took back with me a NEW FRIEND..who was funny, spontaneous in his reactions, extremely talented in giving "sadetodd" answers, having a never ending stock of silliest jokes i have ever heard, innocent yet naughty and having usual..simple, colorful dreams just like me!!
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Robertson Cafe
" hello, how can i help you?"..."have a nice day"....."anything else with it?".....somehow these are a few sentences i cannot live without now....yeah really...and i wouldn't be surprised if someone hears me blabbering these in sleep too...wow! a superb example of how much one can be devoted to his/her job...A place where u spend 4 precious hours of your day...without bunking anytime..working diligently throughout.. should have some effect on you...RIGHT!!
Yeah.. "Robertson Cafe"...my work place here in America was the first to give me a glimpse of the US of A and teach me ABC's of so called American english...."Yo..man...wassup...chee bugger...fri..panini...gyros..mayo..salami..zuchiinii.. egg plant ..u r ll set...gotta...plzzzzzzzz... wach u say?..take it easy man..hey honey...and have a good one!!" would have taken quite some time to understand and actually interpret its meaning otherwise. I didn't even realize when and how i aced in switching between American slang and desi...hinglish!!
For a third person its no big deal working in a cafe as a mainline server...but yeah for sure i understood what exactly a chef or a worker in "Vaishali" or "Poona coffee house" must be feeling after a days work."Customer Satisfaction"?? which i thought i already knew was actually practically experienced here...A long chain of tasks...number of people...and utmost important coordination and responsibilities taken at apt times are the key factors indeed for any individual setup. There is no one to yell at you or show u ur duties but you automatically learn from hard working Americans around you...which is the best part!
In spite of being so time consuming, hectic,physically tiring and almost having nothing to add to my resume..i have no choice but to love my job and keep my managers happy...as in this uncertain world of student life in college...this is the place which comes to ur rescue in assistantship crises! Oh my god what a price to pay...for so called "vilaiti education"! :)
May be this too is a part of American life...and one has to experience it all when he/she comes here as a foreign student!! I would say..."All that glitters is not gold"...partly can be experienced once u r in America as a "Graduate student"!
Yeah.. "Robertson Cafe"...my work place here in America was the first to give me a glimpse of the US of A and teach me ABC's of so called American english...."Yo..man...wassup...chee bugger...fri..panini...gyros..mayo..salami..zuchiinii.. egg plant ..u r ll set...gotta...plzzzzzzzz... wach u say?..take it easy man..hey honey...and have a good one!!" would have taken quite some time to understand and actually interpret its meaning otherwise. I didn't even realize when and how i aced in switching between American slang and desi...hinglish!!
For a third person its no big deal working in a cafe as a mainline server...but yeah for sure i understood what exactly a chef or a worker in "Vaishali" or "Poona coffee house" must be feeling after a days work."Customer Satisfaction"?? which i thought i already knew was actually practically experienced here...A long chain of tasks...number of people...and utmost important coordination and responsibilities taken at apt times are the key factors indeed for any individual setup. There is no one to yell at you or show u ur duties but you automatically learn from hard working Americans around you...which is the best part!
In spite of being so time consuming, hectic,physically tiring and almost having nothing to add to my resume..i have no choice but to love my job and keep my managers happy...as in this uncertain world of student life in college...this is the place which comes to ur rescue in assistantship crises! Oh my god what a price to pay...for so called "vilaiti education"! :)
May be this too is a part of American life...and one has to experience it all when he/she comes here as a foreign student!! I would say..."All that glitters is not gold"...partly can be experienced once u r in America as a "Graduate student"!
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Wandering mind...
Its such an awesome world...ur world of IMAGINATION!
A place where no one sees you, instructs you, impose on you, expects from you, bothers you...and not even judges you! The best thing is you are your very own...without any mask, without any unreal smiles,without any competitions and no destination to reach!
Why do i like to be a part of this beautiful world more often now a days? Why it seems to be the most pleasant place of all.....and why, even though i don't have time to think about it...i unknowingly keep wandering there!
As i think more deeply and positively about it...i come to a conclusion that may be I am going through a stage where i have numerous questions constantly haunting me...starting from my usual day to day job, classes, the things i am learning.. to 'why we do...what we do","is this what i really want to do", "why do we need friends","is there anything as..FOREVER..or everything just comes and goes as decided by some unknown powers"............and many more!
Ever seen a small baby....in its sweet childhood days staring for a long time at every damn thing that he sees, then anxiously scrutinizing it from all possible corners, then making up his mind..whether to touch or not, finally grabbing it passionately without knowing the consequences....enjoying it for a while...may be a lil longer(depends on the baby) then throwing it away.......like it was never his...Don't know why but i feel i resemble that baby a lot these days..."wandering mind", an adult way of calling it..may be!
And when i get frustrated..or may be thats bit harsh a word to use...as people getting frustrated every now and then might have some mental problem..( as seen by the society) i do exactly what the baby does.........I simply slip into my secret world of imagination..which cuddles me up real tight like a mom cuddling her baby....so he forgets the outer world at least for time being!
May be we all need such a place....to get pampered, get spoiled, see new dreams...tell ourselves we r the best! and as we grow up we unknowingly create one for us! which becomes...an inseparable part of our day!
I hope that "place" makes me a baby........who in spite of being pampered, spoiled....wakes up the next day to be "consciously spoiled".
A place where no one sees you, instructs you, impose on you, expects from you, bothers you...and not even judges you! The best thing is you are your very own...without any mask, without any unreal smiles,without any competitions and no destination to reach!
Why do i like to be a part of this beautiful world more often now a days? Why it seems to be the most pleasant place of all.....and why, even though i don't have time to think about it...i unknowingly keep wandering there!
As i think more deeply and positively about it...i come to a conclusion that may be I am going through a stage where i have numerous questions constantly haunting me...starting from my usual day to day job, classes, the things i am learning.. to 'why we do...what we do","is this what i really want to do", "why do we need friends","is there anything as..FOREVER..or everything just comes and goes as decided by some unknown powers"............and many more!
Ever seen a small baby....in its sweet childhood days staring for a long time at every damn thing that he sees, then anxiously scrutinizing it from all possible corners, then making up his mind..whether to touch or not, finally grabbing it passionately without knowing the consequences....enjoying it for a while...may be a lil longer(depends on the baby) then throwing it away.......like it was never his...Don't know why but i feel i resemble that baby a lot these days..."wandering mind", an adult way of calling it..may be!
And when i get frustrated..or may be thats bit harsh a word to use...as people getting frustrated every now and then might have some mental problem..( as seen by the society) i do exactly what the baby does.........I simply slip into my secret world of imagination..which cuddles me up real tight like a mom cuddling her baby....so he forgets the outer world at least for time being!
May be we all need such a place....to get pampered, get spoiled, see new dreams...tell ourselves we r the best! and as we grow up we unknowingly create one for us! which becomes...an inseparable part of our day!
I hope that "place" makes me a baby........who in spite of being pampered, spoiled....wakes up the next day to be "consciously spoiled".
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